Dusting off the skeletons

Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life was mentioned to me several times this year. And when a clairvoyant I saw recently mentioned the same book, I felt that the universe was telling me I would find it useful in some way. Yes, I am the kind of person that does give weight to the words of those people who I feel have very powerful intuitive gifts. Much to my husband's amusement and exasperation

I intend to work through the exercises in the book on this blog. Louise Hay believes in mind- body-spirit healing. That disease is actually dis-ease, we are carrying around negative energy in our being, that is then amplified by thinking about it and acting on it whether consciously or unconsciously. Finally this energy is manifested in our bodies in the form of physical pain, illness or other symptoms of your body not functioning right. She lays out her book like one of her workshops with plenty of exercises.

When I was 21, I suddenly stopped having my periods for about 6 months. I had stopped ovulating regularly. It was in my first year of university in London. A relationship that I wanted very much to continue had ended. I became depressed. Emotionally drained. I didn't eat enough. Did too many drugs. Lost too much weight. After a year, I recovered emotionally but my body, my cycle never normalized.

I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome - PCOS. When I wanted to conceive my first child, M, I instinctively sought the help of a naturopath rather than a fertility specialist. A case of listening to your intuition I believe. After 6 months of herbs and diet changes I miraculously fell pregnant naturally with M.

Now, I would like another baby to complete my family. I have been to a naturopath for herbs for the past 5 months and am also seeing an acupuncturist - again, a voice inside told me I should try it. I now have been having light periods regularly but no ovulation. I am wondering how long more I will continue with the treatments before seeking more conventional medicine like IUI where they help you ovulate and place the sperm in your uterus.

I draw the line at IVF. We have already been blessed with one daughter and I do not want a yearning for a second to become the primary focus in my life. Getting overly attached to the outcome means I'll not fully enjoy the present -my daughter, husband. And if for some reason a second one never comes around, that is ok to. It just gives me more time and energy to invest into my life coaching and whatever this universe has in store for me to make a difference to people in some way.

So, what am I hoping to gain from working through this book?

The truth is normal cycles with ovulation every month. But if that doesn't happen, it is not the end of the world. On the white board in my home office are the words 'Gratitude' and 'Living in the present'. They just came to me as things to keep in mind a few weeks ago. And they are a reminder to me now to focus on as I begin this process.